You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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