Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
