i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
