What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Bring me that man meat
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
