No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
