I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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