Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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