"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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