Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
