"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize