Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
