So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize