from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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