i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
