I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
