i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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