the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
