If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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