so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
