i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
