I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
