You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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