Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize