I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
