The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
