dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
