Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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