why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
