Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
