You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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