i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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