Whod you bang
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
