Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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