that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
