We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When are your genitals available?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
