i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
