you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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