I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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