I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
