If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
