I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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