she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Let's paint friendship bongs
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
