I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
