I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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