So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
