Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
tell me about the eggs
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