3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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