Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
