I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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