He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
