Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
