FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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