is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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