She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
