I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize