I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
